I know they say change is good, but blooming heck we've had to change not because we want to but because we had to. From complaining about working too much to not working at all. Going to the gym 5 days a week (not I) then being a couch potato (definitely me). To arguing with teachers about the way they teach our children (again not I) to have to teach them everyday (normal in my home). Worse still, being able to walk into a shop to pick up flour and eggs plus the 2 for £1 strawberry laces and fizzy lances (must-haves) to having to wait 15+ mins to be told the world bakes now and so you can't get toilet roll to wipe your arse.
I think the thing I found challenging was whether I would need to wear an orange jumpsuit for the duration and share a space with other women who had done the same thing. Yep, I thought I might go down for the murder of my partner and the throttling of my child, but surprise surprise we got on like a house on fire. Honestly, I was ready! I sharpened my claws and started nagging the first week until they both ganged up on me and told me in the most unpolite way to be grateful.
And that I did. I started to really sit and look at the blessings we had that others didn't. People who had lost loved ones, lost homes, lost jobs and I was nagging about dishes in the sink or unwashed clothes. Speaking to people who were trying to manage their depression and struggling because they felt locked in a cage. People who found it hard to get their children to study or support their studying. All these things made me realise, that sometimes we have to see the shoe on the other foot or better still step into another's to appreciate that sometimes when things seem bad in our lives they actually might be better than we expected.
So I made changes, I turned off my phone more, watched less news, thought about who I was and what I wanted in every aspect of my life. Was I going forward or backwards? Furthermore, was I standing in my own way? All these questions I needed to answer because I had time to answer them. I realised I had the choices I had taken for granted. I realised how much of my past had a hold on me. I realised I had a happy family. I actually realised I was happy but being too busy made me not really see. I realised I put on a full stone in weight and just didn't give a damn until I put on. my favourite shorts. But who cares? Who cares that I wore pj's all day every day? Because honestly dressing up is great but pj's all day is perfect even though I dressed up to write this blog.
The point I'm making if there really is a point, (honestly I'm just blabbing while I think of something proper to write :-)) is that this time has shown me to appreciate more than ever that even in darkness seeds of hope grows. That beauty is all around us if we choose to shut out the mind chatter. That although we can't touch each other like we used to (I miss big squeezy hugs) we are all connected. We are more amazing than we realise and I hope this time helped you to see your amazingness like it helped me to see mine.
I know you were probably looking for some fashion inspiration from this blog (Pj's are now acceptable home wear pieces) but I really felt like letting this one go. I'll be back with fashion, but for now, have an awesome day...
Love, Kookie x