Last weekend, I had an interesting conversation with my nieces that really got me thinking. I was doing the protective nagging aunt thing, where you start telling them what to do, when it seems like they don't have a plan for their lives. I nagged, went on, until finally I got the shock treatment I really needed - 'We are not you! Let us figure out our own stuff and stop getting involved! Stop trying to be the intervention that was never asked for!"
Initially I was stung! I'm only trying to help. But then it occurred to me, they are actually fine, the person I need to be more concerned with is myself! No seriously! All those times I gave long lectures/texts/voice messages, I needed to play them back to myself and take my own advice! As one of my mum would say 'mind your own business!" And she is very right. Whilst I was planning out my nieces life, I myself had not made a definite plan of what I wanted for myself.
I had to apologise! I realised from that moment never again am I getting involved in peoples lives or decisions unless they ask me! Instead all my energy will be put into making sure I take my own damn advice.Which at times is difficult. I realise I have a 'Saviour complex' - I want to fix everyone and make them happy. Which, in all honesty, works in my line of work! Outside of that, everyones business is their own! I have binned my cape and decided to be a mortal rather than immortal! Because with great power comes great responsibility! And to be honest trying to save everyone is bloody tiring, not to mention time consuming!
Now here is March! And I realised the most powerful thing I could do for myself right now, instead of nagging, is to create a Vision Board of what I intend to fulfil for my year. Granted, this year has been fantastic, opportunities have been boundless and that's without one! Imagine what would happen if I actually created one! A vision board, by the way, is a board of strong intentions of what you want to accomplish/achieve/do. They help you to make decisions to be who you want to be without fear of judgement from peers or loss of friendship or family support! You kind of adopt a 'Fuck it!' attitude. Because in all honesty if people walk away from you because you decide to make a decision that doesn't fit with them, then they weren't really supporting you in the first place #justsaying!
So tomorrow morning I am going to pour every ounce of my energy to be absolutely definite in what I want for me in every aspect of my life. I am going to focus on my needs, my happiness and work on developing myself. In essence I am going to take on being selfish! Yes for someone as strong willed as I am that will be difficult, but my purpose in life is to keep trying and finding new ways. Because there is always more than one way to do something.