• Kookie Muhretti

Interview: Connecting with your Inner Self to Style the Outer You


Taking the lead

Do remember (don't start singing Michael Jackson or I'll have to show you my moves :-)) at the beginning of the year I said I wanted to collaborate with professionals from within coaching, nutrition, health etc. and relate it to fashion? Then in February I interviewed fantastic Business Coach Clare Whalley (you can read on my previous blogs and watch on Youtube). In our collaboration we talked about 'Confidence' and 'Ego', the effect it has on us, and why we do what we do! The thing I love about collaborations is the meeting of minds, finding those threads of connection, expanding it and looking at the same ideologies but from another perspective. When it comes to styling, to me its more than just putting you in clothes, or shopping to make you look good. Styling for me is about connecting with that inner you and then connecting you with your inner you. Once you form that connection, you gain confidence, and your whole persona changes of how you've seen yourself to how you really are. Getting dressed then becomes inspirational instead of a chore!

My newest interviewee this time is the lovely Leadership Coach Nisha Kaunda, she considers herself a dreamer, anything is possible if you can visualise it (my kinda gal)! And with that passion, she helps inspire others to push further than the boundaries they set, to take their business to the next level. We honestly were like two giggling girls before and after my interview, but we managed to pull it together to give you this fabulous interview (soon to be on vid)...

1) Kookie Muhretti: Hey Nisha, tell us a bit about yourself, and the inspiration behind what you do?

Nisha Kaunda: I'm a Leadership Coach whose passionate about working with entrepreneurial women, like yourself, to really help them to step into, own and amplify their business and their personal life. I think so many of us tend to hide behind our business, responsibilities, behind all the things that we have to do and forget to take care of our self. That’s one of the reasons that inspired me to start this business, because for years I did the same. Another inspiration was working with women and girls who were also stuck in a hamster wheel of life going through the motions not believing in their self and scared of living an authentic life. It became my passion to break those barriers and help them to really see the potential that they have within them and to see who they really are.

Inspiration

2) KM: Do you think planning and visualising is an important factor?

NK: Its really interesting question! I'm a natural dreamer! I have all these dreams and ideas and visions of things I want to achieve, yet planning is one of my weaknesses. Don’t get me wrong, I can do it, I just don't enjoy it! I'm more free-spirited. I love the spontaneity and the fun that comes with 'I want that!' Not ‘how I'm gonna get that?’ However, as I've gotten older I've realised its importance! in order to get what you want and get what you see you do need a plan. I recognise the importance of both!

If we can't see a better future and then connect to it emotionally, connect to it through our minds and then plan how we are going to achieve that future, it's just going to be a dream. We all have those dreams where we say “I'd love to do that one day, but it's not for me!”or “I can't do that!” So your question about planning and visualising really come together and they need to come together in order to give you something to connect to, to motivate you, in order to achieve it!

Material Things

3) KM: What process do you use to get your clients to visualise?

NK: We are all hardwired differently, so we learn and do things differently. I'm very kinaesthetic! I’m a hands on learner, instructions bore me I like to just get into it and see what happens. So when it comes to different visualising styles I've been there and done it all! What didn't work for me was creating a beautiful vision board because I’d put it away when family/friends came over because I didn't want them to see the things I wanted. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but again it was that idea of 'Am I selfish for wanting a Chanel bag?' over helping people. I’d have those feelings of guilt and fear of being judged, so I'd create it, put it away and in doing so, I couldn't connect to it I'd look at it now and then, but it was almost like my guilty little secret! When I did look at it, it'd be a “one-day I'll have all that!” And again it makes it all a dream!

What I found, I do it differently for each client, is to define what our own level of success is. What is success to us? Because if you don't do that you're always aspiring to what somebody else thinks or what society thinks is success. So, if you don't own 3 Louis Vuitton handbags you're a failure! That's not great! Because you could be the best person in the world but you're a failure because you don't have all those material things. Or you could be the most authentic person in the world but living really poor because you're not valuing yourself and your gift so it's all about having that balance concerning what is important to you and what you want!

4) KM: Is there an affirmation or word you use with your clients to help them if ever they fall off the wagon?

NK: I don't have a particular word, if I'm being honest, but that's a really interesting concept but if I had to use a word it would be 'Joy' or 'Happiness' because I truly believe within the coaching sessions and what we do long-term, is to instil some of those tools within you so you can draw upon them when the coaching sessions are over. If you think back to any experience in your life where you were truly yourself and able to do anything. You’re so free that you don't even realise “I'm being me in this moment” because you just are. And when we feel that way, we are in joy. When we experience happiness to that level, we feel at peace.

A technique I do with my clients is to get them to write a list of things that make them happy, things that make them joyful. Try It! It might be a playlist of certain songs that just take back and makes you connect with something that makes you happy. It could be a picture, a holiday you've been on. It could be a favourite meal, but you're cooking it slow and taking your time making. It could be a walk in nature. Having a spa treatment or even a bubble bath, taking half an hour to sit in a tub and just be. Whatever it is, those little moments of joy and bliss that help you to connect to you, almost throw away everything else covering you.

Be your best friend

5) KM: What does Confidence mean to you?

NK: To me, confidence is being able to connect with your self! It's being your own best friend. Having compassion for yourself. Knowing your strength and amplifying those and knowing your weakness and being able to say “you know what? I'm ok with that, I can work on that and I can develop that”! Not constantly cutting you down for being bad at something. It is also understanding, you are not going to be confident in all aspects of your life. You’ll be confident in certain areas because you practice that regularly. You may have overcome certain things to be confident in those areas. Just allow yourself to learn and grow and develop as a human being, as a person, in your business in your life! New things are going to come up and you’re not going to be confident in that and that's ok because you can learn and practice and get there!

Confidence is being happy with who you are and that you're enough, just as you are. We can always be better, we can always grow and develop but right here right now you are enough. And it's a lesson I wish I knew a long long time ago. Because it's taken a while to get here and now that I'm here I want to help everyone, that's why I do what I do. That's why I love doing leadership coaching and working with clients because I want my clients to know: You're enough!

Conclusion

Wasn’t that inspriring? You can watch the full interview on Youtube due out on Sunday. At the same time if you feel Leadership Coaching is something you would like to know more about feel free to contact Nisha Kaunda at the following:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nishakaunda

Facebook: Nisha Kaunda

Twitter: @nishakaunda

Instagram: @nishakaunda

She also has a free guide on 30 ways to be more you

Until then my lovelies I leave you with this: Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. Coco Chanel

KM x

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Kookie Muhretti